E-Rated Rick
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Rick's universe is putting off E ratings instead of M. This becomes very worrisome.


Morty is playing some video game ans Rick kicks open the door.

"M...Morty! (belch!) Something is terribly wrong! Terrible! The universe Morty...I think the whole universe is effected!"

"W...what are you talking about Rick? You...youre making me die shutup!"

The screen says

[YOU HAVE BEEN SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM.

BUT THATS OK. GRANDMA AND YOUR DOG ARE THERE TOO BECAUSE THEY NEVER SMOKED POT.]

"ok seriously...you dont see anything wrong with that?"

"It...its just a little joke by the desginers Rick"

"Game designers dont make jokes Morty! They're bitter vindictive trolglodytes who dont want your money but your aggravation at the cost of your own money! F your game Morty!"

Rick kicks the console and Morty just looks at him

"Did you say F my console? Why didnt you just say duck? Wait what? I didnt mean to say duck..."

"Something really wrong has happened Morty I tried to tell you. Come'ere..."

They go to the garage and he turns on a hologram.

"Normally our universe gives off a dark matter signal called M ratings. This dark matter is invisible to the multiverse which is why we dont get sucked into horrible crossovers with Kingdom Hearts or Harry Potter."

"Hey I...I like Harry Potter."

"You would...ANYWAY now our universe is giving off E ratings. Thats bad Morty, thats very bad!"

"Well...well whats so bad about it Rick?"

"It means our entire universe is an unstable mess Morty! It means we cannot interpret things in an adult manner and eventually the social and mental fabric of our society will unravel until only the smallest axioms can function. But not before you stick your banana in Harry Potter's chocolate cake because apparently THAT is E rated."

"Stick my banana in Harry Potter's chocolate cake Rick?"

"The girls Morty...the girls think its delicious."

"W...what are you even talking about Rick?"

"What are any of us talking about Morty if we are E rated?!"

"Well...well how do we change it back?"

"We gotta be edgy Morty."

"Edgy?"

"We gotta be REAAAALLY edgy. Not like Shadow the hedgehog edgy but like 4chan edgy. Dont talk about your feelings, dont bring up regrets or shame, just say things like rap is okay."

"Rap is okay?"

"Rap is ok Morty! (belch) Rap happens all the time in nature!"

Two chimps have swag hats and chains on and are having a rap battle.

"You know what else was good? Not-sees."

There's a German brownshirt with the microwave on cooking a burrito and shrugs.

"How long did i stick that Kosher burrito in there for?! I dont know! Im a not-see!!!"

"Is...is it getting better Rick?"

"I dont know Morty...I cant tell if we are on the front page or not."

He takes a swig of his flask and looks at it.

"This is chocolate milk..."

He throws it at Morty. "OW! What the Triple H Rick?!"

"Its still E rated but we're moving into T with references like that Morty. Thats a good start..."

"All this talk about ratings and...and higher conscioussness decaying. Y...youre crazy Rick! Just a crazy old man with fishsticks in his ears!"

Ricks voice turns into Hank Hills.

"Dang'it Bobby that made no gosh darn sense... BWY'AH!!!"

"Wha...what happened to your voice?"

"I get it now Morty! The key to M ratings. It...it isnt edge at all Morty! It isnt edge or curse words or even deep seated cynicism which Protestant parents haaaate."

"Ok but..."

"Its memes Morty! M rating stands for memes!"

He turns on his laptop and keyboard cat plays.

"Aww that...thats a cute cat Rick"

"Shut it Morty..."

He clicks another video and plays Dat Boi.

"Oh shit what uuuupppp?! See Morty?! Its working Morty! (belch)"

He plays another video and its a hentai scene.

"Oops sorry...wrong tab."

Filthy Frank making vomit cake comes on.

"Jesus Christ Rick!"

"Ahaaaa! Despite Christian undertones no E rated person could say the son of God's entire name. Its like...its like a gay vampire Morty. Christians are gay vampires."

"You know you still sound pretty irrational E or M rating Rick..."

Rick plays another video of the hijacked airplane ramming into the twin towers on 9/11 to Papa Roaches song here comes the boom.

"We're doing it Morty! The M ratings are overlapsing the E!"

Suddenly a portal opens with what appears to be a giant space marine wielding a hammer that says B. Despite his size this space marine has a high pitch nasal voice that cracks.

"You didnt listen to my arbitrary rules that I forced upon you to even look at my website!"

"Shit Morty..."

"Wha...whats that Rick?"

"The thing ive been ranting about all season."

"Im gonna do something blatantly illegal now despite how Ill claim the moral high ground for harassing people who havent done anything to me Ny'ahhh!!!"

Rick takes a hit of his flask.

"Wubbalubba dub dub everybody...(belch!)"


End file.
